Ništa bitno, just your every day shit...

Jos malo citata... stand up comedy legenda... i da, ako ne znas engleski don`t even try to read this.... too bad for you, sucker!

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That’s just common sense!
Have you ever noticed that their stuff is shit and your shit is stuff?
I wanna live. I don’t wanna die. That’s the whole meaning of life: Not dying! I figured that shit out by myself in the third grade.
You can’t fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.
If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”
If you live long enough, sooner or later everybody you know has cancer.
Soft rock music isn’t rock, and it ain’t music. It’s just soft.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
I don’t like to think of laws as rules you have to follow, but more as suggestions.
When you’re born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you’re born in America, you get a front-row seat.
I never fucked a ten, but one night, I fucked five twos
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
Have you noticed that most of the women who are against abortion are women you wouldn’t want to fuck in the first place? There’s such balance in nature.
I’ve never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.
“One thing leads to another”? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.
I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.
Have you ever noticed that the lawyer always smiles more than the client?
Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin’ ready to hang himself.
If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
The Golden Gate Bridge should have a long bungee cord for people who aren’t quite ready to commit suicide but want to get in a little practice.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it.
 
To je to od citata, za potpun uzitak download or look up on Jubito... Have fun! Have lots of fun!!!:)
 

Postoji RAZLOG zašto ateisti ne zabijaju avione u zgrade!
"Štujte me ili ću vas mučiti zauvijek. Imajte lijep dan." Bog.
Bog ne ubija ljude. Ljudi koji vjeruju u Boga ubijaju ljude.
Sve religije su nikle iz prijevare, pohlepe, straha, mašte i poezije. E. A. Poe
Ne bi vjerovao tvom Bogu ni da postoji.
Ljudi koji ne žele da se njihova vjera ismijava, ne bi smjeli imati tako smiješnu vjeru.
Prijetiti djeci s paklom je ZABAVNO.
Bog ne postoji, znači nitko te ne voli!
Svaki put kad se igraš sa sobom, Bog ubije mačića.
Svaki put kad vidiš dugu, Bog ima homoseksualan odnos....hahahaha:)
To bi sve, ne možeš a da se ne nasmiješ, ne možeš...